thatcow

Bleed by numbers

Lame cut-and-paste exercise in transparency concerning a teenager, Jeremy, who becomes a vampire when seduced and bitten in the opening scenes by a sexy female vampire. The fact that there's no other way to describe her says much about the depth of the plot - she's there for one purpose, and the whole production reflects this kind of surfacy approach.

There some hope for a pleasantly schlocky experience as Jeremy becomes aware of what is happening to him, dealing with his parents and being very awkward with the girls, but it falls apart with the cumulative weight of each line of bad dialog poorly delivered. It's hard to appreciate a bad movie when it's barely even trying. The whole thing collapses in a bad chase/rescue sequence with inept vampire hunters that's neither a threat nor all that clever.

Watch for a decent Rene Auberjonois - too bad there's no meat to it - and an early bit part for a surprisingly thin Kathy Bates.

The unfortunate thing is that, with a vampire, it's already too late for euthanasia.

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