All wet

The second sequence involves a wedding that's stopped in mid-aisle-walk because half the wedding party, including the groom, gets paged to go off on a mission. How could this not be a guy film? And hey, it stars Charlie Sheen, right smack in his tough guy image phase - although you might have a point if you were to argue he's never exactly left that phase.

Sheen and his cohorts are the SEALS of the title, hot-rodding it and shooting it up around the world on missions like so many jaunts to the store. I am suspicious that real world SEALS don't see this much action, but this is a movie, after all. The plot revolves around terrorists who get some missiles, and that's about as far as that goes. We have some side things, like a reporter of Lebanese heritage, and the abandoned bride, but they are just strewn around like so many spent shells around the corpse of this film.

Sheen's character (do we want to bother with names here, honestly? The film barely does) is reckless and rude. For a couple brief moments of tragedy, it looks like the film is going to wake up from it's self-gratifying, self-assured combat expertise. Yes, a crisis of conscious could easily become trite here, but there's barely any acknowledgement of a struggle. The film bets its entire existence on the strength of these missions.

The soundtrack is punctuated with dated late eighties music. Sheen wears some awful pink shorts at some point, but then I probably did too around that time. There is some decent treatment of the terrorism/islamic connection, but they don't spend enough time for it to make a difference. There's an occasional interesting bit in the combat sequences, but the film's insistence that these guys are so close to perfect gets in the way of relating to them, and the bravado they continuously spout only serves to distance the audience further.

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Review: Eh, kinda stupid for the most part... star5/10 SillyconJester

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