thatcow

Damn Dirty Exploitation Flick

I knew this sci-fi remake was awful within seconds of flipping to it, near its start. Each lines of dialog falls flat, pushing the plot nakedly forward or creating tension so fake you could market it as an impostor perfume. References to science and technology are outrageously oversimplified. How do you know you are receiving *all* broadcasts every originated from Earth? How does an instrument detect the year? Obviously there is some sort of relativistic phenomena happening, but the point of relativity is that the measurent of time is constant to the perceiver.

The best bits are when nobody is speaking. A lot of money was spent on scenery and costuming. If this were documentary of life on the planet of apes, it would be more interesting to watch because there wouldn't be any feeling of manipulation. Occasionally, there's a good line - a studio project this big wouldn't get by without at least some competent writers involved, but talent is easily overwhelmed by mediocracy when too many cooks stir the broth.

The commentary on race relations from the original version is covered over with a revolry in camp that has neither style nor substance.

There's an awful lot of genetic diversity in both apes and humans on this planet where the level of technology precludes a grat amount of mobility.

The use of English is explained, but still would there not be more language drift with as much time is supposed to have passed?

Certainly, the original Planet of the Apes suffered from some of these same issues, and I'm not holding it up as a paragon of filmmaking, but it could not have been this bad.

How many ways can I say that this movie is not worth watching? Perhaps there's some enjoyment possible in the inadvertant sillyness around every corner, but don't fool yourselves - there is nothing new, or even imaginative, here.

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