thatcow

Awful. Horribly Awful

Brian Bosworth, if you don't know, was a football player who entered the NFL with much fanfare, had some injuries and had to retire. What's a man with an agent to do after that but break into movies? Stone Cold is a tailor-made vehicle to launch Bosworth's stellar career.

Except, of course, he's not had much of stellar career, has he? This film only has designs on being a bad-ass action flick for people with too much testosterone. The only sense of humor present is that which underscores how bad-ass everyone is.

The plot? I shouldn't even need to mention it here, but it involved bad-ass bikers on the wrong side of law, which only Bosworth has the ability to infiltrate properly.

No more than five consecutive minutes are allowed to pass without naked women on camera. It is so blatantly gratuitous there is no attempt to explain these flesh sightings. We are just to assume that Bosworth is such a cool guy, he continually gets to be around nudity to break the monotonity of being a bad-ass.

The reason this gets just one star is that it at least holds to its own rules, though they may be unambitious ones. Or maybe I just hate to rate a movie that Sam McMurray is in that badly. I can imagine there's a few people out there who resemble the characters in the movie that might actually like this. It's not up to me to tell people to not enjoy a film like this, but I certainly won't recommend it.

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